Page 38 - A Soldiers Exposition

We were already wounded from the second-hand experiences of those combat soldiers. They jokingly
referred to us as “the non-combatants – the lucky ones.” But we knew there was a deeper story than the
one being told. We knew because we lived the real stories by hearing the voices, “seeing” by imagining
the events, and the pain from their every night – nightmares. The blood-curdling screams, the crying – it
was like watching the same bad movie over and over again every night without the ability to turn off the
television.

We were unforeseen collateral damage; a term used by our government to describe the killing or
wounding of non-combatant individuals during a military mission. The war was being physically fought
thousands of miles away. But emotionally it was in our minds and our souls twenty-four-seven. We were
always thinking: “When will it be my turn? Will I die? Will I ever see my family again? Will I be badly
wounded and unable to take care of myself? Will I turn to drugs and alcohol like these guys?

Always knowing that my life was destined to be altered by war, yet also believing I was doing the right
thing was confusing. ”I am an American with responsibilities to my nation; I am a Soldier.” Of course, I
challenged “the cause” on a daily, if not hourly basis. But I also accepted my leader’s explanations
almost without question. Critical thinking was not acceptable from a soldier. A soldier’s duty is to follow
orders and do as he is told. “Yes sir, understood sir!” was the expectation.

Many of those returning from Vietnam went absent without leave (AWOL) and became deserters. This
was considered a cowardly act and frequently meant an “other than honorable” discharge carrying with it
the loss of all benefits. There would be no GI Bill for those Vietnam Veterans. Almost all of these
soldiers were reduced in rank and heavily fined before discharge. Many soldiers facing potential
assignment to Vietnam also went AWOL and faced the same circumstances.

As we witnessed the demise of our fellow soldiers, we also perceived that the chain of command was
continuing to fail our soldiers.

Our wounded soldiers returned from Vietnam in need of counseling and other medical attention. They
were discounted and castigated for failing to conform to a “normal” life.

These soldiers had served their country. They had lived the Army Values and followed the Soldier’s
Creed. They had earned their GI Bill benefits.

But, without proper medical care, many of them were unable to conform to the non-combatants’ lifestyle.
The government stripped them of an opportunity. It was an insult and a mockery. Instead of taking
responsibility for its action, the government chose to ignore the emotional and psychological wounds, the:

“Wounds That Do Not Bleed”

Many of the Vietnam returnees were ill-equipped for the transition to “normal” life.